…I would probably have combined my two greatest childhood obsessions into this magnificent web page.

However, I am not a kid any longer (sadly), so I’ll just blog about it.

I want my very own aaaaaaaaaaaarPhone!

rPhone combines three delightfully diverse products into one awkward and cumbersome handheld contraption — a revolutionary steam-powered satellite phone, a stylish French musicbox, and a vibrasonic multi-purpose tool that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a Sonic Screwdriver. rPhone is the first portable telephone constructed of materials you’ve come to associate with progressive technology… from its exquisite rosewood paneling to the handsome brass frame, it shouts “This is the 18th century!” and “Gee, this thing sure is heavy!” and “What do you mean it costs $20,000??”.

Rest assured this is one phone you’ll never lose in a pocket (unless you have extremely fancy pants m’lord!) and best of all, rPhone provides an analogue interface that even the simplest of simpletons (like you! m’lord!) can comprehend! No more confusing menu screens or complicated keystrokes, rPhone is built for space pirates on the go!

This video makes me want to watch Transfomers the Movie (cartoon) and Transformers the Movie (live action) all at once. I forgot how awesome it is!

Here’s an e-mail I recently wrote for an e-mail group for St. Clement’s Shrine in Boston, after some people had expressed confusion on the Church’s teaching on homosexuality and Catholic marriage (one user wrote “i thought gays and lesbians can actually get married in the church these days. is this not true?”) I figured that citing sources and reading the original Canon Law (fully online here) would help, so I decided to write a response.  I’m rather proud of it so I figured I’d post it here.

My e-mail begins with a response to another user who asked:

To my knowledge, infertility in and of itself is not an impediment to marriage. Apart from a case where a person seeks a medical procedure to cause his or her body to be incapable of reproduction before marrying, then I believe that infertility by itself it doesn’t invalidate the marriage. Can anyone else add to or clarify this?

My e-mail begins now:

————-

Christopher West’s excellent “Good News about Sex and Marriage” says the following on page 54:

8. What if a couple is unable to have children?
Marriage retains its intrinsic goodness even without children, so long as they’re not positively excluded. Thus, unintended infertility is not an impediment to marriage.
This condition is often confused with the impediment of impotence. Impotence isn’t an impediment to marriage because such a couple can’t have children. It’s an impediment because they can’t have intercourse. Whether a child does or does not come from intercourse is up to God. If he chooses not to bring a child forth from the spouses’ union, their marriage is no less valid because of it.

So, you are correct – there is a great deal of difference between the couple being unable to have children, and choosing not to have children. On page 117 of West’s book, in a chapter on Natural Family Planning, he offers the following analogy:

Take, for example, two students who both have the further intention of getting good grades. With that goal in mind, one intends to study hard, and the other intends to cheat on every test. The end never justifies the means.

West’s book is a summary of Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”; it has all the teaching presented in an easy-to-follow Q&A format. I highly recommend it, especially as a Confirmation gift.

You raise a second point, “I believe that a homosexual orientation in at least one spouse of a married couple may serve as grounds for annulment–raising the question of the validity of such a marriage.” I think this is somewhat of an oxymoron – for a Catholic marriage to be truly valid both spouses (man and woman) must be totally committed to each other alone and to no one else. I assume you’re thinking of a situation where one of the spouses had homosexual tendencies BEFORE entering into the marriage – this could certainly serve as grounds for an annulment, but only if the spouse chose to resume an actively homosexual life after getting married (which would at the very least show that he or she was not actively committed to the marriage bond). The Church’s teaching on homosexuality can be found at http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P85.HTM (scroll to the bottom, start at “Chastity and homosexuality.”

FYI for all, here is the Catholic Church’s definition of marriage as paraphrased by West:

Marriage is the intimate, exclusive, indissoluble communion of live and love entered by man and woman at the design of the Crator for the purposes of their own good and the procreation and education of children; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament. - West p. 46
Also see the original text of Canon 1055:

The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring, has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized. – http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3V.HTM

As well as “Gaudiem et spes” from Vatican II, online at http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_cons_19651207_gaudium-et-spes_en.html (scroll down to Gaudiem 48 to read a statement on marriage).

Finally – one of the (many) things I enjoy about the Church is that it’s all there if you look for it – whether or not people agree or disagree with you it’s always possible to cite a source showing the Catholic Church’s actual teaching. Here are a few resources I often rely on:

• The Code of Canon Law – fully online at http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_INDEX.HTM
• US Conference of Catholic Bishops site – http://www.usccb.org
• Christopher West – Good News about Sex and Marriage, as well as Theology Of The Body For Beginners

I find that citing sources helps resolve debates like this – taking a few minutes to Google some answers can help save lots of confusion and frustration.

God bless!

Sincerely,

Joe Gallagher

Pancake Bunny has a new Internet friend: Dramatic Chipmunk.